My own world

I realized this week that I'm a little too independent. I know God is totally there for me 100% and always will be but He also created relationship. He wants us to have good friendships and have people we love in our lives to share our hopes and dreams with and fears and failures. I suppose I spent a lot of my life cut off in letting people know how I truly felt. I didn't even like making decisions because I was afraid to upset people. I don't think you have to whine and complain all the time but I do think that being real with people is a must. I'm sorry to all who I closed off from my emotions, it's hard though you know when you feel like people don't listen or care about anything but your advise, or when people don't think your problems count because they aren't as big as theirs. Or when you've spent your whole life trying not to be a burden on people.

Minutes left. . .

    We only have one week of class left. It's so strange how fast it has flown by yet when I look back I've done and been through so much. It's like a jelly bean . . . so much flavor packed in one little candy, it takes only a moment to eat and yet leaves a lingering taste in your mouth wanting more.     Outreach is coming up soon so please keep me in your prayers that all finances will come through and just for a fresh spirit to go. Thanks for your prayers guys they have been much needed this week. Love

Life

Today was a hard day. Our little family went through a series of emotions today. We experienced a loss and huge changes. God's grace is sufficient and He gives us a peace that is beyond anything I can comprehend. It's funny how good our God is, I mean even on the days when you don't understand anything and you feel like life flipped upside down He's right by your side and sometimes He doesn't even speak but you just want to wrap up in Him, like an old familiar blanket or the arms of a close friend. You have hope in tomorrow and know everything will be ok and you will grow from all situations but just for a moment you don't need words or explanation but just the comfort of being in someones arms. -When we are weak He is strong- what a friend we have in Jesus

HAHAHA... basically

okey dokey so you'll never guess what I did this weekend . . . no seriously you won't. . . ok so I went horse back riding on the beach and in the water!! It was very coolio I'm telling you. So 8 girls and I went to ocho rio and stayed at my friends house and had a blast. On night we ended up playing truth or dare for kicks and giggles and I ended up drinkin molasses, vanilla, and milk. GROSS! but the high light of the night was doing impersonations. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. I acted out our whole day with out using words and lets just say Drama class didn't help at all. We ended up buying some super sweet 80's hats and walking around town with them. I think my favorite part though was the pool. I convinced a couple of the girls to have a jumping contest on these floating things. My goal was to jump as far as I could superman style and land on the floaty thing. This though was not very well thought out and ended in a belly flop of great pain. So I thought "hey that sucked. . . so lets try running into the pool and then continue running on theses unstable floaty things!" This was quite funny and so others wanted to try but my friend Steph (who also did a belly flop) decided that in order to gain the right to running across these ridiculous things they had to do a belly flop. =) hehe . . . by the end everyone was getting thrown in the pool, Silvy was dunking Steph M in the water, I threw Mal in the water, Steph M threw me in the shallow end. Then we were all laughing a shouting and went in the house and all the sudden heard THUD BANG CRASH. . . OUCH! Mal had fallen down 8 stairs on the spiral stair case. No fear though I was quickly to the rescue with some ice. But in the end it was all worth it and Mal has the sweetest bruise all up and down her right side and I think she is quite proud of it it looks epically awesome.
OH! hey so you want to know the coolest way to pray? You just talked to God like He was your best friend. Just call him dude or whatever and tell Him stuff you would tell your friends like "Dude today sucked but the tuna fish sandwich I had for lunch today was SWEET" or for you older folks "Today was bad I mean seriously gag me with a spoon" =) When I talk to God like this it's been so awesome. It's been some of the best prayer I have ever had cause it's just like hanging out with God and letting Him know where I'm at. It's truely awesome (a little wierd at first) but so good.
Prayer request: I need to start sleeping more. Lately I've been having a hard time sleeping and I should also start to go to bed earlier (I'm sure my dad is saying "That's what I've been trying to tell you") Thanks for all your prayer and encouragement guys! much love

random-ness

I want to thank all you guys for keeping me in your prayers. I have been learning so much and been touched so much in my life here and I know your prayer are helping so much. It really means more than you could possibly know that you guys are supporting me to be here and praying for me. Friendship truly is a great gift from God.
So we only have 3 weeks left in the classroom and then it's Christmas! I'm really excited because one of my friends lives here in Jamaica so she's taking the 4 of us girls who aren't flying home for the break to here house in Ocho Rios, then we're going to travel around the island for a while. I'll post pictures of us on the beach wearing santa hats =). It will be my first Christmas away from my family so just keep us in your prayers that we can still enjoy the holidays.
We prayed about our outreach group and in my group there is one other girl and two boys as students and then we have two young couples for leaders. Our group is going to go to Kingston for 3 weeks. Kingston has some very rough places so just pray for protection as we go there. Then we fly out to Kingston to a little island called St Vincent were we will stay for a week and a half and then go to an even smaller island (3miles by 1 mile) called Myro and stay there for a week and a half. God's leading us to just have fun with the children and people there and love on them. We will also be doing a lot of worship there. One of the couples who arwe going with us are starting a YWAM base on Myro so we are helping them pioneer! It's really exciting but please pray for doors to be opened for us and them there and they really need a well and God's told them there will be one there so we are trusting Him. Please pray that He will show us the water source and for patience in the process and that it will go smoothly.
Man you guys following God is so cool I mean I'm in Jamaica and get to travel to all these Islands just to love people. I mean love is the greatest thing ever and we get to share The Greatest Love ever know with people from everywhere. God is so not boring =). No matter if your traveling the world or at home, He wants to bring so much joy and excitement to our lives. He's the author of adventure. Be patient and listen and be in the moment. Look at the people God has put in your life, talk to them, see the trees you walk by everyday, look at them. There are so many cool things in life but were so caught up chasing adventure or dreaming up adventures that we miss excitement when it happen. It's not hollywood friends, no it's much greater, is life, our lives, what greater adventure is there? Don't miss it.

Home sweet home

(My new photos are 70% done uploading now! Yay so check out the new photos if you have a second) So the showers really weren't THAT bad. They were really cold but the bonus was that their water made my hair extra soft, so it all worked out =). Mandiville is Beautiful. I woke up every mornig (except one) to some of the most beautiful sun sets I have ever seen. The stars there are so much brighter too. My friend and I layed out at night and thought about just how small we are compared to the whole universe. I mean think about it, how vast is our God? And this God loves us so much. Us on this teeny tiny planet, and everything is so detailed down to these little tiny ants that crawl on the ground.

road trip!

Heyo everyone! So in a couple hours we're leaving this YWAM base and going to another one in Mandiville which is a couple hours away. I'm really excited because it's supposed to be a lot cooler than here and we can wear sweat shirts and jeans! I know it's funny to be excited about that but I am because it will be more like good old Montana =). The down side to it though is that the showers there will be so cold . . . ahhh. There's no hot water here but I heard that there the water is so so cold. So I'm contemplating not showering for the week. . . what do you think? I think considering that fact that all 10 of us girls are sharing a room, none of my roommates would like me if I didn't shower haha. So if you hear really loud screaming in the morning on your end of the world its probably me being thrown into the freezing shower by my loving roommates =0. This past week was really busy and crazy hard so prayer for this next week to catch up on sleep and have a little down time would be awesome! Thanks miss you guys!

heyo!

okey dokey so I posted up some photos finally! There are only a few though because I'm still trying to figure out how to upload them from my canon camera, but so far you can see some my friends and the airplane ride. I know I haven't been writing too much but I've just been trying to take this time to relax in God and just refresh in Him. So I have a few funy stories for you all so you know I'm still me =). . . ok so half of us have been going to a local deaf school and hanging out with the students who live there and it's been really fun. I know a little sign language and my friend shawn, who is fluent in sign language, has been teaching us some small talk. So all the people there were asking about my hand and what happend to it I triend imitating what shawn was doing when he was explaining it to some people. So here I am signing away and all the sudden it hits me ~I think I'm telling these people I'm pregnant!~ ahhh so shawn runs over and I look confused and I'm all worried thinking that I've just told a few people that I'm pregnant. . . but everything got worked out and Shawn explained that I was telling them I was just born without a hand. We all had some laughs about that.
ok story #2 were doing a class right now that helps you give talks infront of people. They're teaching us a few tricks on how to not be so nervous and things like that. So here I am at lunch feeling good and walking upright and whatnot and whatever, then I see my friend Kimmy and start walking over to her and right when I start to take a drink out of my cup I step in a puddle of water and slip and the water spills all over my face and I inhaled some of it through my nose. So here I am after a class about poise, spewing water out my nose with water all over my face it was very amusing to say the least =)
I have a whole bunch of stories but need to go open up the snack shack ... thats right I have the best duty on base =)
love you guys lots and miss you too. Keep me in your prayers and guess what! God's a super cool dude!

God is so good. He is love my friends. I could say so many things right now about Him but HE honestly has so much love to pour out and you guys and HE wants to show you personally so much about Himself. Just ask Him. He's waiting.

P.S. you have to listen to get an answer =)

here i am!!

So I finally made it to Jamaica mahn! It is so beautiful! I will post up some pictures soon, hopefully. I am already so overwhelmed (in a good way) about how much God has and is going to teach me. I've been reduced to tears already, for a couple different reasons. One is that I do miss you all and knowing I won't be talking to you all for 5 months really makes my heart weak at moments. Today, though, during worship a woman came up to me and told me to know that "I am not alone". It was such a good word. God is teaching me so much about the close relationship He longs to have with me. I have always loved God, but it is here that I'm beginning to fall in love with God. I know that this is the first or perhaps the overall reason why he has brought me here and to this point. This is the second reason for my tears here. It feels so good and right to be here. I have realized that I have been hurting for quite awhile now. Hurting in a place in which I could never figure out. But I was hurting to be loved. Loved in a way that only God can love us. See it was not that in any moment God did not love me completely, but rather that I had never allowed myself to fully BE loved my God. I have in someway guarded my heart against Him. Today during worship though I drew a picture of a skeleton who's heart was being held by God. That's how I feel now like I'm starting to come alive again and God is holding my heart.

getting ready!!

Hi everyone!
I have an awesome opportunity this fall to go to Jamaica through a program called YWAM (Youth With A Mission). God has called me to be apart of a short term mission trip in which I will be learning about and sharing God’s amazing love and grace. I’m truly excited to take this next step in my relationship with God! Here are a few of my plans while I’m away:
1.Avoid a really bad sun burn!
2. Eat some sweet new foods. . . maybe
3. Try picking up the amazing Jamaican accent *Yah man*
4. Not shower until I have dreadlocks =)
Just kidding! Those are only a few of the small things I will be doing. Through YWAM I’ll be attending a Discipleship Training School (DTS) in Montego Bay Jamaica for three months. It’s a period where I will be learning more about God’s greatness in a classroom setting. My fellow students will be from both the USA and Jamaica. After the classroom phase we will have an opportunity to go to another country for two months. During this time we will be doing field work such as helping build churches, feeding the homeless, aiding the sick or loving children in orphanages. The greatest of all these though would be for a moment in which we can share the good news of Jesus Christ. We can’t save the world of its pain but we can show them God and His amazing grace and love for us.
God is so good and so much greater than any of us could possibly imagine. It is my heart’s passion to follow Him till the end of time. My favorite verse is 1 Chronicles 22:19 “Determine in your heart and soul to seek the Lord your God”. I love this verse very much because sometimes we get so caught up in the motions of our lives that we become stagnant or repetitive. What if we dared to go farther than that though? What if we dared to live life like we were determined? God is still teaching me so much about how to live my life in a way honoring Him but I’m determined to seek out Him and everything He has for me. This has led me to my decision to go to Jamaica. I know God has so much to teach me there and I’m extremely excited to go!
I could really use your prayer in this next step. Most importantly, prayer that I will have an open heart to what God is going to teach me. I leave in one week and I have never been so far from home or for such a long time but I know God has great plans and I’m ready to follow Him where ever He leads me. Also another fear of mine is the food. I know this is ridiculous =) but I’m an extremely picky eater which makes me a little nervous for new foods other than lucky charms and French fries. I will be packing a whole bottle of ketchup but I’m hoping that I will be able to enjoy a new variety of foods. The last prayer request I have is for heat. I don’t function very well when it gets hot because it takes all the energy out of me. Food and heat could be two of my biggest challenges honestly (God works in mysterious ways) so if you could keep me in your prayers that would be awesome! It would be a huge blessing to have you pray with me to help spread the good news of Jesus from here to the ends of the world. Look out Jamaica here I come!
Share Hope, Walk Humbly, Live Loved, and God Bless,

Steph