here i am!!

So I finally made it to Jamaica mahn! It is so beautiful! I will post up some pictures soon, hopefully. I am already so overwhelmed (in a good way) about how much God has and is going to teach me. I've been reduced to tears already, for a couple different reasons. One is that I do miss you all and knowing I won't be talking to you all for 5 months really makes my heart weak at moments. Today, though, during worship a woman came up to me and told me to know that "I am not alone". It was such a good word. God is teaching me so much about the close relationship He longs to have with me. I have always loved God, but it is here that I'm beginning to fall in love with God. I know that this is the first or perhaps the overall reason why he has brought me here and to this point. This is the second reason for my tears here. It feels so good and right to be here. I have realized that I have been hurting for quite awhile now. Hurting in a place in which I could never figure out. But I was hurting to be loved. Loved in a way that only God can love us. See it was not that in any moment God did not love me completely, but rather that I had never allowed myself to fully BE loved my God. I have in someway guarded my heart against Him. Today during worship though I drew a picture of a skeleton who's heart was being held by God. That's how I feel now like I'm starting to come alive again and God is holding my heart.