rest. . .

I'm caught up in thoughts of the day of my Lord
when I will enter into His rest

Can you imagine the great peace we will have
the great freedom from this strife

Oh to gaze into the eyes of my sweet Lord
to taste the rest He has bought


I'm waiting for the day of rest when I will finally be with my Lord and will fight no more

I am where I am

It's funny how worked up we can get in life running from one thing to another. Today I was stressing myself out trying to think of where I should go and what I should be doing with my life. Then I realized, I am where I am. I've had so many twists and turns in my life I don't know why I keep trying to act like I know where I'm going. Today is all I'm given at the moment. How do you know then how to dream? I guess I will dream big today and do all I can to make this day a great day. Maybe the Lord was right when He said today has enough worries of it's own.

Well this week was my first week of school and there has been so much to do and so many things to read and from it all too much to learn! My goodness I love being here and learning to delight myself in the Lord. I feel like my whole has been to rush rush rush and work work work, but now I'm learning all that is in vain if I don't wait and delight on the the Lord. He's greatest goal is His glory and I want His glory to be my only pleasure. God is a good God =}

"If we should seem at times to be a bit slow, let it be remembered that we do know the direction we are called to go, and as long as we have followed that original urge we have been blessed with success beyond our best expectation. That we maintain our God-revealed direction is vitally important. Let us not fail here." -Towzer

Montana Brrrr....!!!

So today I went for a rafting trip to get to know some of the other students. Let me tell you about our little adventure. We started out in the morning and there were some grey clouds in the sky and the water was freezing but we thought, "hey we can do this, no big deal". YA it turned out to be a big deal. We got in with some shivering and screaming and set off down the river. We were having lots of fun going along playing some games, throwing a football between all of us, and trying to avoid tones of rocks and a log. Soon though it got colder and colder until shivering was no longer a choice. We walked a little ways in the water trying to get to a faster current but soon we were all so frozen and the clouds were only getting darker. So we all climbs out and got to the road with our tubes. Three of the students got out on the road and caught a ride back to our cars. The rest of us tried to stay as warm as we could while waiting for our rescue from the breeze and sprinkling rain. Soon they came and not even two seconds after all the door shut it began to hail. We hit everything perfectly without a second to spare. Praise the Lord. We raced back to our apartments and dried off and got into our warmest clothes then hung out and made chili, corn bread and coffee. mmmm i love college and gotta love that good old Montana weather! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Bozo love

Well friends, I made it to bozo all safe and sound. I have some really cool roommates. My roomy is from Billings and our apartment roomies are from Oregon and Cali. I'm really excited/nervous for class to start on Monday. Today we had orientation ad I signed up for a work out class which I'm hearing is actually really hard and there's only one or possibly two other girls who are in it with me. So we shall see how this all turns out! I hope you guys can come see my apartment some time it's so nice and cozy. And it's so BIG! Come visit me! =}

homesick for heaven

Oh Lord how i long to come and be with you. The only thing that seems to bring me joy anymore is sharing your love with others, and still I feel overwhelmed, being homesick for heaven. How is it that people ask me to smile when they don't know how deep the pain is in me longing to be with you. I look around and my heart breaks again and again that people don't know you or run as fast as they can from you. Oh Lord, I have tasted your love and seen your grace, I have come to know your goodness. How is it that we are able to stay and live in this world with our bodies of death. My heart breaks when others wander, but it breaks even more so when I find my own heart wandering astray. How is it that after seeing your goodness I still crave the unfulfilling things of this world. Lord the only reason for me to stay is so that I might draw those I love to you, and to grow even more myself. God I feel incredibly weak. . . so all I do is pray and pray, I fill caught in between death and glory. I want to be completely redeemed, so I will wait for that day. Teach me Lord how to teach others. I don't want to be a babbling fool who has many words with no knowledge thereof. Lord teach me that I might know. Teach me that I might fall in love all the more. Teach me the life in your words. I know enough that I believe, so teach me that they might believe as well. God my heart is breaking for many broken hearts. There were too many strings to this puppet of life that you've cut and now all I have is prayer. So Lord I bow before you. . . Teach me of your love.

an honest prayer

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the
Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but
this is what they heard:

'Heavenly Father,
We come before you today
To ask your forgiveness and
To seek your direction and guidance.

We know Your Word says,
'Woe to those who call evil good'
But that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium
And reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and
Called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness
And called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn
and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists
And called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline
Our children and called it
Building self esteem.

We have abused power
And called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's
Possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air
With profanity and
Pornography and called it
Freedom of speech and expression.

We have ridiculed the time
Honored values of our
Forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God,
And know our hearts today;
Cleanse us from every sin
And set us free.

Amen!'
The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked Out
during the prayer in protest.

In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is
pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those
calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving
international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea .

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio Program, 'The
Rest of the Story,' and received a larger response to this program
than any other he has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our Nation and
wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'one
nation under God.'

movin on ... there's gunna be brighter days

I'm not about to give up
Because I heard you say
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days
I wont stop, Ill keep my head up
No, I'm not here to stay
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days

I just might bend but wont break
As long as I can see your face

When life wont play along
And right keeps going wrong
And I cant seem to find my way
I know where I am found
So I wont let it drag me down
Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway

I'm gonna move
I'm gonna move
I'm gonna move

Ive got to hold 'er steady
Keep my head in the cage
Everything is about to change
Everything is about to change

This hurt is getting heavy
But I'm not about to cave
Everything's about to change
There's gonna be brighter days

I just might bend but wont break
As long as I can see your face


No matter what may come
Gotta move to a different drum
No matter what life brings
Gotta move gotta move to a different beat

I just might bend but wont break
As long as I can see your face

This is my prayer...

"I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape."

-Relient K-

Would you like fries with that...

Well it's official... yours truly has joined the lovely team of McDonald's! I went into the job, laughing a little, imagining myself wearing a shirt with the famous golden arches and the "I'm lovin it" quote, asking people if they would like a big mac or a Mc double. It has, though, been one of the greatest eye opening and humbling experiences in the world. I went from girl who lived in Jamaica for months to girl who pours coffee and smells like french fries. This was the humbling part. Eye opening for me though, is meeting the people I work with. There's the ditzy smiley high school girl who wears too much make up, the younger boy who likes the ditzy girl, the guy who looks like Chip from Napoleon Dynamite, the girl who's pregnant, the guy with the mustache, the shy girl, the boys who talk about illegal drugs, the older workers and the guy who makes all the dirty jokes. Yes they are all there... but that's ok. I mean who am I? What part do I fit into when people come to the counter and order their fries and a drink? I could be the cute girl who doesn't have a hand. Do I fit into the McDonald check list of handicap workers. Yes we're all here. . . Boy with mustache-check, girl with no hand-check. On a side note or maybe a continuing, there are no levels of society in my mind any more. And I didn't realize that by going to Jamaica and seeing some poorest of the poor. No I didn't learn that by finding out that "uncool" or "un pretty" people have stories. I already knew that. I'm a person who thrives on hearing about people's lives and where they came from. No I learned this because I went through a period in Jamaica where I felt out of my mind. For moments I knew the true meaning of crazy. I would fall asleep crying and had to ask people for help. I remember thinking "God! I don't care who you send but send someone who knows what I'm going through. I don't care if I need to ask help a thousand times as long as I can meet someone who understands". I no longer could be Stephanie who had it all together, calm cool and collected, having all the answers. No I was the Stephanie who would cry on any ones shoulder as long as they would care and want to know what I was going through. And now I work at a place where it's only a joke for people, a last resort. So now I understand. I can't fully describe what it is I understand but that's ok. All I know is that pride is walking out my door and for some reason... I kinda like it.

To be known

"To be known is to be loved & to be loved is to be know". . .

Graduation

Tomorrow is graduation! Can't wait to get back and see all your lovely faces! It's been a long journey but so worth it. I would say this has been the hard but best thing I've ever done.

comming home!

heyo everyone! I'll be home in a week! crazy crazy. Thanks so much to everyone for letting me get away and clear my head and really focus on God. I can't even begin to describe how much this all meant to me. I know it was hard and I missed you all mucho. I'm going to be leaving my sandy beaches and hot sunny days and joining you all in the snowy cold soon. Look out Montana Stephy's coming back.

hey all outreach was AMAZING I made it back to jamaica safe and sound.

10. when your leader comes in and smashes a gecko and it's tail falls off but it still wiggles =0 gross!

okey dokey lovely people we're flying out from Kingston to st. Vincent for a month and I don't know how much internet we will have so this could be my last blog for awhile. Thanks for all your prayers and please be praying for health, safety, and unity for our team and I'll try and post up some things when I can. =)
Stephy

you know your a missionary when you. . .

1. eat ox tail
2. fit 9 people in a Camry (little car)
3. nap in a church parking lot
4. find a cockroach on your pillow
5. step on a slug when you go to hang your laundry on the line
6. have geckos climbing on your wall
7. find slugs in your laundry
8. feel lucky that you have a warm shower
9. eat Pb&j becomes for your daily bread
10. to be continued. . . =)

God is good ( and just a little bit funny )

Kiss from God

Today we went to the mall to hang out and talked to people. It's was a cloudy and overcast day so lots of people we a little down and depressed. No one would really talk to us today and Annina and I were a little discouraged so we sat down and prayed. We asked for God to open a door for us to talk to some one. When we finished praying a man walked directly over to us and asked us where we were from. This man was so kind and generous and was a grandpa who told us about his grandchildren and how he took care of them and prayed for them often. He was so gentle to us and encouraged us with his testimony of how he didn't have a degree but how he was in government and how he just works really hard and prayed all the time. When he needed to go we asked if we could pray for him and he said yes excitedly and so we prayed. I was wondering if I should tell him how much Jesus loved him or if we should just pray for him. As my friend Annina began to pray I felt at peace like God was saying "This is one of my sheep". When we finished praying the man said "The Lord is my Shepard" =) and gently kissed us both on the cheek. It wasn't until the man had left that I realized that God just wanted us to be loved and encouraged. It felt like I had just been kissed by God. . .

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

man oh man guys it's a new year! may it be full of love and blessings for you all! I miss you and I love you much! May God keep you and shine His face upon you. May you know Him =) or as we say here in Jamaica . . . "Gawd like you lots . . . One love"